Free, practical advice on stress.
I saw a post many months ago, it read "What does Stressed spelt backwards read?" The answer is of course "Desserts." For some reason this question stuck in my head, like a fishbone in the throat. I could not move it, I pondered it daily and even used it to see if it would shake loose a solution.
Well about a week ago the penny dropped and it fitted like a glove into my Caveman Principles work!
It is time that we look at stress a different way.
In case you are not aware I hang out on Quora a lot. I get asked loads of questions about stress and every single questions has the same theme. "How do I sleep better when I am stressed?" "What is the best way to get rid of stress?" and so on. After answering a few of these questions telling people this is not the question to ask, the word Desserts came to mind.
Just like anything, if you keep tackling the same problem the same way, you get the same result. Any good Pool player or Golfer will walk around to take a look at things from a different angle and all these people on Quora did not want to do this.
Instead they wanted a quick fix, to get instant stress relief so they can carry on. None of them wanted to take a walk around the ball. So I started to give different advice, to make them think of the problem a different way. It was clear that the questions we all ask about stress are wrong, we come at it from our weakest stance, tackling it head on when we are already on our knees - we are going to lose.
Hand in a flame.
I explain to people that stress is like putting your hand over a naked flame. The heat builds up and our skins burns causing us injury and we have to take our hand out of the flame. Stress is exactly the same, but instead of learning that fire burns, we treat the burn as quickly as we can and stick our hand right back in there an let it burn again. We believe that the getting burnt bit is all part of modern day living and all we have to do is now and again treat the burn and carry on. The skin under the burn never really heals properly and will always be weaker, different to the rest of the hand. How many times can the same area be burnt before there is no chance of recovery? Depends of the thickness of the burn, type of exposure and speed of treatment.... I hear you say - No you miss the point!
Now let us take a look at stresses weakest area, which will always be the root cause, then we can gain an advantage. Stress is like the fire, it needs an ignition source (wood, fuel or Mammoth hair), take the source away and the flames dies and the fire goes out which means our hand no longer gets burnt. It is a simple idea but always lost and overlooked.
So how do I get people to take a different look at the problems of stress, when they are happy with burnt hands or just want to hit their heads against a brick wall? The numbing of the forehead will feel like stress has been alleviated but when the feeling returns the problems remain.
The answer is simpler than I could have imagined. As a stress consultant I am an expert at seeing stress in others, I am gifted in finding the route cause of stress in situations. I am a pretty good speaker and a nice guy but this has been a reactive approach to people who come to me.
The answer was simple, being reactive is not going to take the fight to the door of Stress. It needs education, training and pushing, it needs people to tackle and understand the problem long before it causes us to want to give up.The answer we are going on the road, The Caveman Workshops!
Now lets see if I can get Desserts are on the menu!
If you would like to know more, or can help facilitate a workshop local to you, I would love to hear from you!
Stay in touch, Carl.